Little Known Sarah Palin Fact: Sarah Palin welcomes you to Obama’s America. Will she be back? You betcha.
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Little Known Fact: Sarah Palin doesn’t get in people’s faces about things – she asks Todd Palin to do it instead. This is because if the day ever comes that Sarah Palin gets in your face, your face will rip off.
Little Known Fact: Only an idiot would try to hide behind the name “anonymous” when they try to hack Sarah Palin’s computer. Sarah Palin knows exactly who you are, Donna Brazile.
Little Known Fact: Sarah Palin only said she bought a tanning bed – in reality, it was a reverse tanning bed, powering all tanning beds everywhere around the world with the smoldering sun-kissed light from within Sarah Palin.
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Stacy’s mom has got nothin’ on Bristol’s.
Lots of Little Known Facts coming out tonight as Sarah Palin knocks one out of the park. First some stuff I found, and then the best of the web.
- Sarah Palin was to walk out to the singing of Angels, but convention organizers thought it might come off as showing off.
- Sarah Palin’s suit is made from 100% dead liberal skin.
- Sarah Palin prepped for this speech with a ritual sacrifice of Susan Estrich.
- Sarah Palin has actually travelled backwards in time from after the roll call to accept the nomination retroactively.
- Sarah Palin doesn’t actually have an accent, it’s distortion from her telepathic broadcast directly into your brain.
- In 2003, the US considered deploying Sarah Palin to Iraq as a 1-woman commando squad, but wanted to make it a fair fight.
- As head of Alaska’s Nat’l Guard, Sarah Palin taught troops in a training exercise to scare a grenade into not exploding.
- Sarah Palin drives herself to work everyday – in an M1A1 tank
- Sarah Palin believes in change, too. She takes it from your pockets after striking you dead.
- Sarah Palin wears three quarter length sleeves to keep from getting blood on her clothes when she kills liberals.
And some of my other favorites…
- @kurtluidhardt – Glasses sales up 150 percent since Sarah palin became nominee.
- @kevinbinversie – The diamonds in Sarah Palin’s earrings were crushed with her very hands.
- Also @kevinbinversie – Sarah Palin’s use of the word “Haberdashery” will bring it back in style.
@apophistoledo – Sarah Palin can roll a natural 20 on a d6 (gamers, you know it!)
- @seanhackbarth – Sarah Palin loves opening up a can of whoop-ass.
- @AndTheRest – It’s not over until Sarah Palin says it’s over.
- @lagomorph13 – wants to be President but is too kind to cut in front of John McCain, so now we get her for 16 yrs!
Sarah Palin wants to see some people talking. Tomorrow night, during her speech, it’s the first Little Known Fact-a-Thon. Stream your LKFs while she speaks. If you got to this site through some other avenue, sign up for a Twitter account and join in.
In the meantime, keep this in mind:
- Sarah Palin clubs people who wear goofy clothes and sequins to the convention for sport.
- Sarah Palin coded the original prototype for Facebook.
- Sarah Palin had the original idea to drop the “e” from Flickr
- Sarah Palin writes low level device drivers for Linux
- Sarah Palin knows why Twitter doesn’t scale but she wants us to have the joy of finding out on our own
- Sarah Palin doesn’t have a favorite web framework. She is a web framework.
- Sarah Palin was the first one to know that Scoop sucks
Sarah Palin is the reason compasses point North.
Tags: Sarah Palin
Here are some more of the best Little Known Facts from around the Twitterverse.
- @moveableHype – Queen Elizabeth II curtsied when she was introduced to Sarah Palin
- @RichardMahoney – Sarah Palin’s image already appears on the newer nickels
- @JonBurg – Fox is starting a new reality show… when Sarah Palin Attacks
- @Rammi – Sarah Palin wants you to LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE!!!
- @JonHenke – Sarah Palin’s enemies are automatically added to the Endangered Species List
- @lagonmorph13 – Sarah Palin as VP increases Depends sales among scatalogically frightened Democrats
- @RogHaak – Sarah Palin is what Willis was talkin bout
- @arratik – When Sarah Palin attends ritual blood orgies, she always brings the most delicious ambrosia salad
- @robertgorell – To prep for her role as Tracy Flick in “Election,” Witherspoon spent the ’98 seal clubbing season with Palin
- @jstueve – Ben Linus does Sarah Palin’s bidding
- @aefoley – Jesus has a bracelet that says, “WWSPD?”
- @coreyclayton – Death once had a near-Sarah Palin experience
- Also @coreyclayton – Sarah Palin can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves!
- @jtoeman – in the original version, He-Man had the power of Sarah Palin, but the writers felt this would make him way too powerful
- @mayjah – Sarah Palin can keep a Twitter meme going on and on like a rave kid on X.
- @KurtLuidhardt – Sarah Palin was not flown to Ohio in charter jet- she ran as part of morning workout.
- @johntabin – N. Alaska is sunny half the year and dark half the year because Sarah Palin needed the reading light, then wanted a nap
Bring you more later since this thing shows no signs of stopping…
The facts are pouring in – literally. At last count, there are more than 3200 Little Known Facts in the random “Little Known Facts About Sarah Palin Generator. There are nearly as many hashtags.
Here are a few more facts that I dug up today.
- Sarah Palin begins every day with a moment of silence for the political enemies buried in her yard.
- Sarah Palin always beats the point spread.
- Sarah Palin once bit the head off a live Osprey snatched from the air as it tried to fly off with a fish she caught.
- Sarah Palin uses French Canadians as bait to catch giant king salmon.
- When Sarah Palin booked a flight to Europe, the French immediately surrendered.
- Sarah Palin plays Whack-a-Mole with her forehead, and always gets a perfect score.
- Sarah Palin knows who was on the grassy knoll.
- Sarah Palin’s finishing move in the VP debate will be pulling Biden’s still beating heart from his chest & taking a bite.