Chuck Norris’s Favorite Sarah Palin Facts

This is a truly great day. Chuck Norris, the Man himself, has deigned to give an approving fist pump to us as chroniclers of the Little Known Facts about Sarah Palin. He cites his personal favorites as follows:

-Sarah Palin once carved a perfect likeness of the Mona Lisa in a block of ice using only her teeth.

-Sarah Palin doesn’t need a gun to hunt, because she can throw a bullet through an adult bull elk.

-And my favorite: Sarah Palin is courageous and tough enough to shave Chuck Norris’s beard – and face off against his third fist disguised as a chin.

In honor of Mr. Norris’s compliments, we have created a design at the newly launched Sarah Palin Facts Gear, where you can purchase t-shirts and other sundries, using one of his own Chuck Norris approved favorite facts.

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In a 1993 exhibition game, Sarah Palin coached the Wasilla High School football team to victory over Mike Ditka and da Bears.

Sarah Palin once won the Tour de France riding a tricycle

Sarah Palin once worked out her guns…Charleston Heston resigned as president of the NRA

Sarah Palin once played the Milwaukee Bucks and deer became an endangered species

Michael Jackson once met Sarah Palin and Michael immediately stopped liking little boys

Sarah Palin once shook hands with Eva Longoria and Eva immediately became gay

After watching Sarah Palin’s RNC speech, the Pope had to add an 8th deadly sin…..being a democrat

Each time Sarah Palin smiles, Barack Obama says …uh…well…uh….

Sarah Palin can put LIPSTICK on a PIG… and it looks like a DEMOCRAT.

If you pull a gun on Sarah Palin, she can and will pry it from your cold, dead fingers.

Alan K. Henderson

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Sarah Palin uses her fingernails to skin a moose.

Alan K. Henderson

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Sarah Palin never banned any books from the Wasilla public library. If the library receives any books that she doesn’t like, they spontaneously combust.

There is no global warming. The polar cap melts a bit every time Sarah Palin smiles.

Sarah Palin taught whales how to sing,
and when she conducts them,
they can do four-part harmonies.

It is easy to prove Jesus wears a WWSPD? bracelet.
He loves little children, beat corrupt people with a whip,
and walked on water.