Lots of Little Known Facts coming out tonight as Sarah Palin knocks one out of the park. First some stuff I found, and then the best of the web.
- Sarah Palin was to walk out to the singing of Angels, but convention organizers thought it might come off as showing off.
- Sarah Palin’s suit is made from 100% dead liberal skin.
- Sarah Palin prepped for this speech with a ritual sacrifice of Susan Estrich.
- Sarah Palin has actually travelled backwards in time from after the roll call to accept the nomination retroactively.
- Sarah Palin doesn’t actually have an accent, it’s distortion from her telepathic broadcast directly into your brain.
- In 2003, the US considered deploying Sarah Palin to Iraq as a 1-woman commando squad, but wanted to make it a fair fight.
- As head of Alaska’s Nat’l Guard, Sarah Palin taught troops in a training exercise to scare a grenade into not exploding.
- Sarah Palin drives herself to work everyday - in an M1A1 tank
- Sarah Palin believes in change, too. She takes it from your pockets after striking you dead.
- Sarah Palin wears three quarter length sleeves to keep from getting blood on her clothes when she kills liberals.
And some of my other favorites…
- @kurtluidhardt - Glasses sales up 150 percent since Sarah palin became nominee.
- @kevinbinversie - The diamonds in Sarah Palin’s earrings were crushed with her very hands.
- Also @kevinbinversie - Sarah Palin’s use of the word “Haberdashery” will bring it back in style.
-
@apophistoledo - Sarah Palin can roll a natural 20 on a d6 (gamers, you know it!)
- @seanhackbarth - Sarah Palin loves opening up a can of whoop-ass.
- @AndTheRest - It’s not over until Sarah Palin says it’s over.
- @lagomorph13 - wants to be President but is too kind to cut in front of John McCain, so now we get her for 16 yrs!
Twitter
- Little Known Fact: Sarah Palin has a butterfly tramp stamp. !
- Little Known Fact: Sarah Palin has a butterfly tramp stamp. #browns Kardashians
- vpdebate , Little known fact, Sarah Palin and I are the same species serialz #theHELLyoumean
- Little known fact: This photo of Sarah Palin in a bikini, with a rifle, is probably fake: snurl lotus I\\\'s FREE
- Little Known Fact: Sarah Palin is so HOT that God had to send a hurricane to cool America off. !
- Little Known Fact: Sarah Palin is so HOT that God had to send a hurricane to cool America off. !
- RT RayGarton Little known fact: The FDA has already classified Sarah Palin\'s upcoming memoir GO nfl #theHELLyoumean
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September 4, 2008 at 12:26 am
yak
1. Sarah Palin is her own Secret Service escort.
2. When Senator McCain’s Secret Service team finds out that he will be near Sarah Palin, they take the night off.
September 4, 2008 at 8:06 am
Alan K. Henderson
Sarah Palin is the real reason that Mordor was defeated. She has the ring.
September 4, 2008 at 9:53 am
JeffLiss
Sarah Palin knows all the words to the Numa Numa song (Dragostea din tei).
September 4, 2008 at 9:54 am
JeffLiss
When Sarah Palin moves to Washington, DC Alaska will experience global cooling.
September 4, 2008 at 9:55 am
JeffLiss
Sarah Palin built the Alaska oil pipeline single-handed in her spare time.
September 4, 2008 at 9:56 am
JeffLiss
The captain of the Exxon Valdez was captivated by a photo of Sarah Palin.
September 4, 2008 at 10:02 am
JeffLiss
Remember these guys? Yup, they were singing to Sarah Palin. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N2rZxCrb7iU
September 4, 2008 at 10:03 am
JeffLiss
Alaskans don’t need to drill for oil: Sarah Palin commands it to rise from beneath the surface.
September 4, 2008 at 1:00 pm
Crymsyn
Sarah Palin is the reincarnation of Jesus.
September 4, 2008 at 6:42 pm
gungagin
Sarah Palin taught Ozzy how to bite a bat’s head off.
September 4, 2008 at 11:59 pm
blinks
Finally, a hurricane that will do good instead of damage — “Hurricane Sarah Hits The Twin Cities”
September 5, 2008 at 6:27 am
Wet Willy
Sarah, Bill would like to get you in the oral office.
September 5, 2008 at 11:05 am
TXGunGeek
When Chuck Norris needs backup, he calls Sarah Palin
September 5, 2008 at 12:27 pm
Alan K. Henderson
Whenever Sarah Palin sings, mariners sailing in Alaskan waters have to stop their ears so they want ground their ships onto the shore. *That* caused the Exxon Valdez disaster.
September 5, 2008 at 12:28 pm
Alan K. Henderson
Sarah Palin’s hunting rifle is Alaska’s missile defense shield.
September 5, 2008 at 1:07 pm
Alan K. Henderson
Sarah Palin doesn’t send a thrill up Chris Matthews’ leg - she sends a 110-volt electric shock.
September 7, 2008 at 3:37 am
Bluejay
Little known fact about Sarah Palin:
She doesn’t need to make Snow Angels, she is a Snow Angel
September 8, 2008 at 2:11 pm
smilejack1
Sarah Palin once extracted all the toothpaste from the tube without squeezing from the bottom.
Sarah Palin’s parents moved to Alaska so she could be closer to her Fortress of Solitude.
Sarah Palin can explain quarterback ratings and the Bowl Championship Series formula.
Sarah Palin’s moose stew is a deep brown color even though she never uses Kitchen Bouquet.
Sarah Palin doesn’t mind if you leave the toilet seat up.
Yes, Mr. Hendrix, Sarah Palin is experienced, and she’d like to thank you for asking.
Trig is already potty-trained, Piper bench presses 275 with immaculate technique, and Willow looks like she might just grow up to be really, really hot.
After Sarah Palin claws out the eyes of her institutionally corrupt opponents, she files her nails with cinder blocks.
Sarah Palin’s back sheds water, and she always finds Waldo.
September 8, 2008 at 4:00 pm
furious_a
Little Known Facts about Sarah Palin:
*Sarah Palin made Keith Olbermann cry, and then got him demoted.
*Darth Vader noticed that the Force was Strong with Sarah Palin.
*If you’re still conscious, it’s because Sarah Palin doesn’t feel like dragging you behind her snow machine.
*There are no endangered species’ in Alaska, only those animals that Sarah Palin hasn’t served to her family for dinner.
*Unlike Dirty Harry, Sarah Palin knows EXACTLY how many shots she’s fired..
*They bring a knife, Sarah Palin brings a .300 Weatherby Magnum — that’s the Alaska Way.
–furious
September 9, 2008 at 8:24 am
NY Farmer
Sarah Palin and Chuck Norris could never have children, because there’s already been a Jesus.
September 9, 2008 at 10:28 pm
Catherine
Palin and her blue ox, Babe, dug the Grand Canyon by dragging her axe behind her.
September 11, 2008 at 1:46 pm
coolerking
Sarah Palin used to be Governor of California, which explains the grizzly bear on the California flag. It also explains why there are no more grizzly bears in California.
September 11, 2008 at 1:59 pm
coolerking
The Alaskan oil fields are mostly comprised of Sarah Palin’s urine.
Grizzly bears are known to sit upstream and trap oncoming salmon. Sarah Palin sits upstream and traps oncoming grizzly bears.
September 11, 2008 at 10:36 pm
gungagin
Sarah Palin understands the infield fly rule.
Sarah Palin knows where Jimmy Hoffa and Amelia Earheart are.
Pailn taught Brian Boitano the Triple Lux.
Palin is the REAL reason the ice caps are melting.
Steve Austin is the 6 Million Dollar Man: Sarah Palin is the 27 Million Dollar Woman.
September 11, 2008 at 10:37 pm
gungagin
Sarah Palin is the real reason the Beatles broke up.
September 12, 2008 at 7:51 am
Alan K. Henderson
I’d like to rephrase my first submission, because Sarah Palin is telepathically forcing me to improve my grammar and style (dang those PTA moms):
Whenever Sarah Palin sings, mariners sailing in Alaskan waters have to stop their ears so they won’t ground their ships. The capitain of the Exxon Valdez forgot to take that precaution.