Little Known Fact: Sarah Palin will give birth to the man who will lead humanity’s war against the machines.

Little Known Fact: Sarah Palin knows how old the Chinese gymnasts are.

Little Known Fact: Sarah Palin wears glasses lest her uncontrollable optic blasts slaughter everyone.

Little Known Fact: Sarah Palin’s son is going to Iraq after the Surge, because a Palin during the Surge would have been unfair.

Little Known Fact: Sarah Palin’s presence in the lower 48 means the Arctic ice cap can finally return.

Little Known Fact: Sarah Palin is the “other” whom Yoda spoke about.

Little Known Fact: Sarah Palin is allowed first dibs on Alaskan wolfpack kills.

Little Known Fact: The Arctic Circle runs through Alaska so the Sun can have some relief from Sarah Palin’s bright glare.

Little Known Fact: The Russians sold Alaska to America because Sarah Palin would not submit to autocracy.

Little Known Fact: Sarah Palin became governor because five children left her with too much spare energy.

Little Known Fact: Sarah Palin could not find a good man, so her husband was constructed from the DNA of Washington, Lee, and Genghis Khan.

Little Known Fact: Sarah Palin will send Biden a pre-debate cheat sheet. The sheet will have tips on defending against Kung Fu Death Grip.